Cancer

On Monday, October 18th at 4:50pm I received a text from my brother asking if I could come to my mom's house for dinner after work - it wasn't a casual invite...it was more of a mom needs to talk to us so you need to come out here invite. I was scared and confused so I called my mom and when she didn't answer, I called again. This time she answered. After my asking 5 times she finally told me she just found out she has cancer. Mom wouldn't give me details over the phone since I had a long drive ahead of me (she didn't want to tell me she had cancer either but I insisted on knowing).

I couldn't speak. I frantically ran back into my office and told my boss I needed to leave. He completely understood and I went to my desk to pack up my computer. I was shaking, crying, and my mind was racing a million miles an hour. Some girls I work with were trying to calm me down and help me concentrate on breathing but I just couldn't. The thought of my mom having cancer was too much to handle. Longest drive of my life.

It's crazy to think how fast things can change. One minute everything is fine and the next you're fighting a terminal disease you've had for over 6 months but been unaware of. A week ago my mom was getting her shoulder checked out thinking she pulled a muscle and after various tests they diagnosed her with cancer? Her appointment with her family physician was Monday, CT scan was Thursday, MRI Saturday, and Monday she has an oncologist and was told she has cancer? Everything had been happening so fast - could this really be true?

It's true. She has cancer. She went through several tests last week and as of this afternoon she's been officially diagnosed with IGA Myeloma. Although it doesn't seem like them confirming a type of cancer is a good thing, it really is the best of both potential types. There is no tumor which is great news and although it's still terminal, her doctor thinks she has 5-10 years left which is way more than she'd have if there would have been a tumor.

My mom is the strongest person I know. She's so optimistic about everything and is ready for treatment to start next week. She's made everyone around her feel so good about everything - it's weird that we're being supported from her in this situation rather than our convincing her everything will be ok. The roles are reversed - she's so strong. I admire her. If something good can come out of something so terrible, my mom will find it. And she did. She's inspired everyone around her.

I'm terrified for the coming months. I'm worried the chemo will make her sick and seeing her like that will crush all of us. We need to be strong but it's going to be hard. The amount of people praying for her and supporting her has been absolutely overwhelming. I can't explain how lucky we feel to know such an amazing group of people. We have great friends and family and even their friends, and their friends friends have been praying for her. The prayers have worked so far - there's treatment that will give her a chance to live a few years longer.

I know this is a loaded entry and not the typical weight loss entry, but it feels good to put my thoughts into writing. As far as the weight loss is concerned, I lost 1.8 lbs last week but haven't been to Zumba as I've been spending a lot of time with my mom but will be starting classes up again Thursday. Mom wants me to keep on it because she's seen how happy I've been on the program so she's encouraging me to keep to my routine. I've still been sticking to my points but when I weigh in tomorrow I'm not sure I will have lost anything since I haven't worked out. We'll see...

Mom - I love you. You inspire me. And you're strong - you can fight this!